The Kellum Army or Kellum Knights are a group in the television series Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.
They are an army in service to the Mage, conquering the lands of Wendimoor for their master, now marching on the Valley of Inglenook.
History[]
Early history[]
The Kellum Army was commanded by The Mage, as well as bearing his name, "Kellum"[1]. The Kellum Knights bear the "K" insignia of the Mage, wear cubic helmets, and are armed with scissor swords. Their helmets led to the Knights being called "Square Boy"[2].
It made its way across Wendimoor, conquering one land after the other.[3][1]
Set on Inglenook[]
After having conquered every other realm in Wendimoor[1], the Kellum Army marched on the Valley of Inglenook.[3]
After the Dengdamors began burning Trost lands in retaliation for the loss of their matriarch's son Farson, a group of Kellum Knights delivered firearms to Jeppum Trost, a gift from the Mage.[4]
A group of Kellum Knights held Farson Dengdamor and the Beast captive. They also happened upon Amanda Brotzman and Vogel and imprisoned them too. They were defeated by Amanda, and all four of their captives fled.[1]
A group of Kellum Knights attacked the forest home of Wakti Wapnasi and the Bofuki Nepoo, but they were defeated by the Rowdy 3.[5]
Open war[]
A group of Kellum Knights accompanied Lord Triangle Badevil as he inspected the Dengdamor-Trost massacre on the Bridge he had himself incited by shooting Farson Dengdamor. There they were found by Suzie Boreton, who revealed herself as the Mage's apprentice and successor. The Kellum Army accepted her as their new leader.[2]
The next day, armed with scissor swords and modern firearms, the Kellum Army made its final moves. Suzie sent a group of Knights led by Badevil through Wakti's pool to the Project Blackwing facility in her world, with the command to kill anyone they found there in order to kill the Boy from the prophecy. The rest marched to complete their invasion of Inglenook. When arriving in the Dengdamor's town, they found almost everyone already killed in an attack by the Trosts; they shot dead the only remaining family members present, Jeppum Trost and Frija Dengdamor and their sons Panto Trost and Silas Dengdamor. Another woman present, Bart Curlish, was untouched by their hail of bullets, and, grieving, attacked them with her chainsaw.[6] Bart killed her immediate attackers as well as what seems to be the entire rest of the Kellum Army, at the end sitting on a mound of corpses on a field. The Knights sent to the Blackwing facility killed 40 people, before being defeated.[7]