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"That Is Not Miami" is an episode of the series Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, the seventh episode of season 2.


Lost in Wendimoor, Dirk has a crisis of confidence as he and Todd struggle with hostile natives, deadly misunderstandings and, very literally, evil knights.


In 1966, a man (who, judging by the fact he lives in the Cardenas house, is Hector Cardenas) finds one of his cows brutally torn apart and is attacked by the Purple People Eater monster, murmuring "not again" when he sees it. He flees into the house and tells his wife that "he's having a nightmare" and to "make him get rid of it." As it breaks into the house and he tries to fight it with a shotgun, Marina finds her son sleeping and murmurs to him to "make it go away" or "dream it into something nice." It disappears just before it can attack Hector.

In Wendimoor, the Beast plays with a ball in an empty throne room as a pool in the room starts to gurgle and glow bright blue, and Dirk Gently and Todd Brotzman are ejected from it. Todd realizes where they are and becomes excited, but Dirk, still forlorn, is convinced it is not real. Todd moves to leave and tells Dirk to follow, but he asks Todd what his plan is and reminds him that Arnold Cardenas is dead, blaming himself. He insists "every move I make puts people in danger," but Todd interjects that Arnold was not necessarily the boy. Now visibly upset, Dirk states that even if the boy is still alive, "how am I supposed to bring the boy to Wendimoor if I'm already in Wendimoor?" He decides to quit being a detective and sits on a throne, refusing to leave. Todd points out that he put finding Amanda Brotzman on hold to help him and that "this will all connect." When Dirk does not move, Todd decides that "I'll solve this one on my own" and storms out. After he leaves, the Beast grabs Dirk and pulls him towards her.

Amanda begins having more intense yet incoherent visions of the Dengdamors and Trosts killing each other, which Wakti Wapnasi seems unconcerned about. She states that the boy will undo all the bad things that happened in Wendimoor if he is returned and that they will all die anyway if he does not. She offers to send her and the Rowdy 3 back to their world, but Amanda insists on staying. She warns Amanda that a war is coming in her world too, "a war for all reality, between order and chaos," and that she will unite "the ones connected to something deeper." She leaves to help stop the oncoming slaughter, and Wapnasi tells her "when you return to your world, you must gather the tools. The universe is broken, and only you can fix it." She tells Farson Dengdamor that she is returning him home, needing to end the feud before it is too late. He resists, but she warns him he cannot run from his family problems forever.

Frija Dengdamor declares "death to the Trosts" in retribution for Farson's presumed murder. Wygar Oak catches Silas Dengdamor trying to send a warning to Litzibitz Trost, fully believing they do not have Farson because Panto Trost promised him that was not the case. He sends the message and cites the prophecy, but Oak affirms that the prophecy must not be real due to Panto's extended disappearance.

Todd runs through the forest, shouting for Amanda, and stops when he notices the sky train, fully accepting that Wendimoor is real. He sighs and realizes "this was a terrible plan" before running off again as two furry monsters watch from the trees.

Litzibitz receives Silas' messages, telling her that he and her brother are in love and asking to meet her on "the bridge," hoping to negotiate peace. Her friend Bigby Badoo notices the Dengdamor messenger parrot and insists that Litzibitz cannot trust Silas, but she counters that he is just as worried about war as they are. Jeppum Trost enters, wondering why Litzibitz was not there during his war declaration that morning, and he states that Panto is dead when she tries to ask him to make peace with Dengdamors. When he refuses, they trade insults and she and her friends leave for the bridge.

Dirk awakens to find the Beast has slipped a vine around his neck to stop him from escaping, declaring him her boyfriend and that they will live in the throne room together forever. She gives him food from a "burgerbush," a plant that grows hamburgers. He reluctantly eats it but finds it surprisingly good, and the Beast decides to name him "Bibbit" and pounces on him.

Todd finds the empty cage he saw Amanda being held in and steps into a net trap set by the monsters following him, using the air gun to shoot his way out but landing at the tips of their spears. He is saved by Oak and Silas, who hold him at swordpoint and cuff his arms in a giant Chinese finger trap. Having found Todd in an abandoned Kellum camp, they assume he is a knight in league with The Mage until he mentions Dirk, exciting Silas.

Farson expresses anxiety about seeing his mother again, but Amanda insists him ending the feud will make him the hero of the story. Litzibitz and her friends intercept them, hostile until she recognizes Farson and explains she is on her way to meet Silas, deciding to bring them to the meeting to ensure Farson goes back to his family. Lord Triangle Badevil follows them.

As he accepts his new life as the Beast's partner, Dirk laments that he never got ahead of the new case and never even got to see the Bergsberg boat, the Beast noting "that one?" and pointing to the wall. She leads Dirk to it and clears away the vines to show a drawing of the boat. He pulls away more of the vines to find a drawing of the Purple People Eater. He tears away the rest of the vines to uncover the full mural, realizing it is depicting the story of the Cardenas family, the Beast stating that it has "been here forever." He starts to put the pieces together, first with a picture of the Cardenases taking a child from the boat, then of them taking the child to their house, only to stop when he sees a picture depicting the adults with two children. He realizes the boy could still be alive and looks at all the pictures, murmuring "I'm missing something" and thinking hard. The Beast asks if "Bibbit happy?" and Dirk smiles, affirming that he is "very happy."

Silas asks Todd if he knows Panto and asks why he is not in Wendimoor when Todd answers yes, and Todd promises that Dirk can explain everything. Silas agrees to see him, but tells him they need to see Litzibitz first. They arrive at the bridge to find Litzibitz and her friends already there, only for Todd and Amanda to see each other. She immediately asks about Dirk (to his chagrin) and they tell each other how they got to Wendimoor, only for Oak to shut them up so as to let Silas and Litzibitz talk. Silas tells her he can persuade his mother to negotiate so long as they get answers about Farson, only for him to reveal himself and tell Silas he ran away and was kidnapped by the knights. Todd tells Litzibitz that Panto is safe, and she realizes "Dirk" is Dirk Gently. Litzibitz decides to send Farson over to Silas' side, only for both their families' armies to arrive, Jeppum having followed Litzibitz and Oak having told Frija where Silas was going. Before they can attack each other, (the Trosts sporting their guns) Amanda stops them and has Farson explain what happened to him. He explains that he ran away and The Mage wants them to kill each other, only for Badevil to shoot him with a rifle of his own, concealed in a nearby brush. The bridge erupts in chaos, and Litzibitz cuts Todd's bindings and tells him to fulfill the prophecy before being killed herself. The Brotzmans escape over the side of the bridge and Amanda runs off to find Wapansi, ignoring Todd's protests that they need to leave.

Suzie Boreton stumbles into Wapnasi's village, declaring herself "the queen" to the gathering Bofuki Nepoo. Having read from the book that Wapnasi is the only magical creature left in Wendimoor, she has come to kill her, Wapnasi warning her "I know you must feel very powerful right now, but you will feel small again." She tells Suzie that she is not afraid of her, and Suzie attacks her. Amanda and Todd find the Nepoo fleeing and hurry to the village to find several of them dead, as well as Wakti laying by a tree, a shape in her chest. Todd insists they need to find Dirk and get out, saying he came to Wendimoor for her, but Amanda bitterly points out he did so out of guilt. She tells him running away can be "your thing" and tells him to go away, only for Oak to arrive and attack them both for supposedly causing the bridge shootout.

Frija is appalled to learn that Silas was partly responsible for his brother's death because of his belief in the prophecy, saying that "I wish they shot you instead" when Silas tries to say that Farson wanted peace. She declares that there will be more killing.

Badevil and his men examine the corpses on the bridge, only to be met by Suzie, who shows them her apprentice wand. She uses it to clean the blood off her and give herself a new, royal outfit. The men kneel, Badevil proclaiming "hail to The Mage," and Suzie corrects him "hail to me." She begins to laugh.

Dirk has put together a crude diagram of the case using sticks and still feels as though he has missed something obvious, knowing that the similar art style between the murals means the boy must have been in the Cardenas house at some point. He wonders if the thing Arnold Cardenas mentioned his parents bringing home from the boat was his brother, but cannot figure out how he got to Wendimoor. He notices something on the drawing of the boy being brought home: the letter "Z" is repeatedly emanating from the boy, indicating that he is asleep. Dirk remembers that Arnold said Wendimoor was "'going' to be real, not 'was'," then points at the sleeping boy and murmurs "dreams." He realizes the boy could create things while he was asleep, and that ever since he created Wendimoor, he has been somehow asleep the entire team. He has a sudden realization and says "solved it." He throws off the Beast's vine and flees, excited.

Behind the scenes[]

  • The episode title comes from dialogue spoken by Todd, replying to Dirk's "It was a portal, Todd, we could be anywhere. This could be Miami, for all you know." with "This is not Miami!".
  • This seventh episode mirrors episode 1.07 Weaponized Soul: that is exclusively spent on a trip to the past, this on a trip to Wendimoor (--Max Landis' Video Blog on Episode 2.07).



Guest Starring

Co-Starring ...

Uncredited (also unsorted Co-Starring, sort those into above category)




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